Single for a Night

On to have a night or two without the darling chef. He abandoned me for a few evenings and I am not sure which direction to go to get into trouble. I have also forgotten entirely how to properly feed myself. I guess that happens when you are so spoiled that you always have someone cooking for you. I seriously have no idea what to eat or how to cook it. My first instinct says to pull an old-fashioned Single Girl Night the way I spent my life before him. It went something like this:

Materials Needed

1. Cats on couch

2. Trader Joe's chicken tikka massala or taquitos. I never eat "plastic food" when the chef cooks. 

3. An assortment of movies: Pride and Prejudice,  Bridget Jones, While You were Sleeping, An Affair to Remember, Cold Mountain.

4. Nail polish

5. Yarn and crotchet stick

6. Cell phone fully charged

Instructions

1. Toss frozen dinner into the oven. Try not to forget it.

2. Discuss with cats which movie to watch. They will more than likely pick Pride and Prejudice  Good choice. 

The kitties have infallible taste.  Feed cats to keep them from sticking their nose too close to your dinner.

3. Pop in movie and start knitting project. Look for inspiration for knitting project before watching Pride and P otherwise your design will end up looking sad and Victorian. 

4. Pull dinner out of oven. Begin eating in kitchen then dash to the living room. Avoid missing Mr. Darcy's love speech, "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” Melt....string of thoughts leads to other single girlfriends and you wonder how their love life is going. 

5. Call most desperate girlfriend. Hear her rehash the details of how horrible the break up was. Hang up feeling refreshed and happy to be single  married. Thank God tortuous single life is over!

6. Knit. Pet cat. Shoe cat away from yarn. Knit. Argue with cat for pouncing on your yarn. Give up.

7. Stare at nails and ponder which color would be best on them. Should you go for elegant, sexy, young, hipster, artist or just leave them be? Paint them neutral boring pink to be careful. 

8. Pride and Prejudice ends.

9. Floss, brush teeth and say good night to cats uselessly. Their wild night is only beginning. 

10. Go to bed and read Pride and Prejudice to double check the textual accuracy of the movie. Of course no one but an English major would care. Wonder why more therapists don't use Jane Austins work to scrutinize relationship mistakes. Sleep. 

I think tonight I will do something different. I will eat something the chef might have made, watch Pride and Prejudice, and try not to hear the echos and imagine monsters, Dracula and killers coming to get me. One night without the chef, without my Mr. Darcy. I can do it. I just have to remember to enjoy the things I can't do when he is around like watching Pride and Prejudice and painting my nails (he detests the smell). I still can't help but feeling a little like the Lama from the children's book Lama Lama Red Pajama.