Thoughts on Weird Flights: Safety, People and Sky Mall
While on my two intercontinental flights this month I had lots of time to observe.
All flights are weird: weird landing, people and shops....Have you ever noticed that all types of people really come together in airports?All types and....all IQs
And it is incredible that the pilot and crew get off the ground and land safely (most of the time) with a plane full of of mixed nuts. I'm convinced that there are some highly paid social psychologists who know what will keep people calm. I have some flight anxiety and the leaflets don't help, they just raise more questions of how we would make it the plane crashed. We wouldn't.
To brace in case of an emergency landing, and my favorite is the one where people are sliding off the wing of the plane like it is easy.
When the plane is parked on Terra Firme it is 3 yards above ground, that's 9 feet! I would get a broken ankle or a sprain for sure trying to get off of it while it is parked. It is just a leap of trust to get on a plane and think that the pilot, mechanics and weather all agree with each other. Every time I hear the plane churn and the fasten seat belt light go on I am sure it is the end of the flight but thankfully, so far, it hasn't been.
My biggest fear isn't the fall if the plane went down. I think it would be much like the day when I fell off a chair: I fell and blacked out so fast I didn't feel a thing, it was great until Fatty woke me up and everything hurt. I think free falling from a plane would be similar, enough time to think " I knew this was a BAD idea!" then it would be over. My biggest fear would be not having had a kid (wasted ovaries and love), publishing my stories and ideas and (with shame) who will feed the cats....Note: If I ever fall from a plane or one of Italy's badly protected roads please check on my husband, parents and the cats...they eat a lot, all of them: both humans and felines.
Moving along. Weird people are the second thing that keeps me alert and ignoring the book I bring to read on flights. The last flight I was on convinced me that I wouldn't make it to the end of the flight. During take off we shook like a 8 point earthquake while the plane full of Italians and Swiss chattered like nothing was wrong asking when they could use the bathroom.
One minute into the flight a Swiss lady dressed in a lime green outfit with red librarian glasses and an annoyed expression started opening the overhead to get out her suitcase. She then trotted against the tilt of the soaring plane like a drunken sailor on her way to the bathroom. She was a pioneer and others immediately followed. All leaning against the angled plane a several men and women got up to get in line for the potty. I was still in my phase of reading what to do when the plane makes an emergency landing and worried about what sounded like an engine dropping off the plane and these people were ready to potty and brush their teeth. Unbelievable. There are the usuals on most flights too: Those that got away with 3 stuffed carry ons:
There are the kicking 5 year olds, gassy guilty looking middle-age men, the strongly effeminate flight attendant feeling like Rachel Ray, and the passengers that stand at their seat surveying the rest of the passengers (they probably get sore from sitting). Getting off of the plane is the worst. Everyone stands up at the same time crunching like sardines. Where do they want to go? Do they think the baggage will come sooner for them? If they stand up faster life will be easier? Not so. I say sit and get up when the line starts to get out.
Lastly: Sky Mall.
Oh how I love Sky Mall. Honestly this is the main reason I avoid reading my book. Sky Mall has the most ludicrous gifts, things for pets and for healing the body that make me feel like ordering something if I land safely. Among my favorites are the one that teaches the dog to use the bathroom indoors,
Teach your kitty to use the Toilet
The portable wine glass
The gorgeous dog cage that now doesn't show the teeth marks from Rover trying to desperately get out because he needs room, not a small cage.
 |
| I love seeing the little plane figure over over the Americas. Home Sweet Home! |
All flights are weird: weird landing, people and shops....Have you ever noticed that all types of people really come together in airports?All types and....all IQs
 | |
| Even some birds make it on |
And it is incredible that the pilot and crew get off the ground and land safely (most of the time) with a plane full of of mixed nuts. I'm convinced that there are some highly paid social psychologists who know what will keep people calm. I have some flight anxiety and the leaflets don't help, they just raise more questions of how we would make it the plane crashed. We wouldn't.
 |
| There is the life vest incase the plane turns into a boat. |
To brace in case of an emergency landing, and my favorite is the one where people are sliding off the wing of the plane like it is easy.
 |
When the plane is parked on Terra Firme it is 3 yards above ground, that's 9 feet! I would get a broken ankle or a sprain for sure trying to get off of it while it is parked. It is just a leap of trust to get on a plane and think that the pilot, mechanics and weather all agree with each other. Every time I hear the plane churn and the fasten seat belt light go on I am sure it is the end of the flight but thankfully, so far, it hasn't been.
 |
| How could we possibly land safely here? |
 |
| At 36,000 feet who knows what we could land on in case of an emergency. |
My biggest fear isn't the fall if the plane went down. I think it would be much like the day when I fell off a chair: I fell and blacked out so fast I didn't feel a thing, it was great until Fatty woke me up and everything hurt. I think free falling from a plane would be similar, enough time to think " I knew this was a BAD idea!" then it would be over. My biggest fear would be not having had a kid (wasted ovaries and love), publishing my stories and ideas and (with shame) who will feed the cats....Note: If I ever fall from a plane or one of Italy's badly protected roads please check on my husband, parents and the cats...they eat a lot, all of them: both humans and felines.
 |
| Best buger ever in the JFK Airport. My Hubby, Dad, Mom and Brother would love a burger. |
Moving along. Weird people are the second thing that keeps me alert and ignoring the book I bring to read on flights. The last flight I was on convinced me that I wouldn't make it to the end of the flight. During take off we shook like a 8 point earthquake while the plane full of Italians and Swiss chattered like nothing was wrong asking when they could use the bathroom.
One minute into the flight a Swiss lady dressed in a lime green outfit with red librarian glasses and an annoyed expression started opening the overhead to get out her suitcase. She then trotted against the tilt of the soaring plane like a drunken sailor on her way to the bathroom. She was a pioneer and others immediately followed. All leaning against the angled plane a several men and women got up to get in line for the potty. I was still in my phase of reading what to do when the plane makes an emergency landing and worried about what sounded like an engine dropping off the plane and these people were ready to potty and brush their teeth. Unbelievable. There are the usuals on most flights too: Those that got away with 3 stuffed carry ons:
 |
| How did this lady get away with it? She also lost her wallet, twice...and asked the neighbors to help her find it. It was in her purse. |
There are the kicking 5 year olds, gassy guilty looking middle-age men, the strongly effeminate flight attendant feeling like Rachel Ray, and the passengers that stand at their seat surveying the rest of the passengers (they probably get sore from sitting). Getting off of the plane is the worst. Everyone stands up at the same time crunching like sardines. Where do they want to go? Do they think the baggage will come sooner for them? If they stand up faster life will be easier? Not so. I say sit and get up when the line starts to get out.
Lastly: Sky Mall.
Oh how I love Sky Mall. Honestly this is the main reason I avoid reading my book. Sky Mall has the most ludicrous gifts, things for pets and for healing the body that make me feel like ordering something if I land safely. Among my favorites are the one that teaches the dog to use the bathroom indoors,
Teach your kitty to use the Toilet
 |
| Potty training the cat on the same toilet for humans is a health hazard I think. |
The portable wine glass
The gorgeous dog cage that now doesn't show the teeth marks from Rover trying to desperately get out because he needs room, not a small cage.
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