Death Arrives to Fatty

January 01, 2020

Death Arrives to Fatty

I have about a dew drop of energy left in my body from sadness. Enough to say that our beloved gentle, soft, brave and ever so loved Fatty died on Monday, December 30, 2019 around 3 AM. Our hearts are broken.

03/2001 - 12/30/2019
19 years of fluff and love

He died just like he lived, beautifully, gently and feeling peaceful and loved. His day ended praying the rosary with me. He nuzzled between my feet and calves as I knelt in prayer. He purred a little purr and I knew he was tired of this mess of being sick. I cradled him in my arms and lowered him into his crate, put in a warm water bottle with an old t-shirt and left him in peace. The next morning he was still sleeping peacefully, never to awake.

His last months were joyful, soft and vulnerable. He loved to eat vigorously till the last two days. He insisted on extra cuddles, and helped me make curtains. He enjoyed a Christmas plate of salmon skins and licked his whiskers with satisfaction. But he got injured on a Thursday after Christmas at an unfortunate incident with the vet, and that injury quickly expedited his demise. I remember him looking at me to say "We fought so hard to live. Help me die with dignity." And against all the agony of debating if euthanasia was right for him, something told me to flow with his desire to die safe at home, as he had just been violated and severely hurt at the vet. So determined to give him a quality death, I switched mental modes to hospice care, cleaned his wound, hand fed him, gave him pain medicine and kept water close to his side. He tried hard on Friday to show me his last love for me, Saturday he started to fade and we took him to the deck to get some sunshine and see his final resting place in our garden. Sunday he was exhausted, stayed with me while I prayed and then went to sleep.

The last few days have been awful. But this is about my lovely kitty...and I will certainly write more at some point here about how I feel a landmine of emotions exploded and set a fire of pain that is barely starting to subside...

Last notes, Mary, Mother of the Afflicted and intercessor for those who ask her, has been by my side constantly in this trial... There are some terrible pains that you only want your mom for, and my Heavenly Mother has been stepping up to bat for me and Fatty. So, thanks, Mother Mary...I'm a little weak now but feel protected by your fierce love for me...