5 Blizzard Survival Tips: from the Cats

The kittens have been prancing here and there fully knowledgeable of the blizzard that hit us this past weekend. They have survival tips which they think are good for humans too:

"Fatty, tell the Lunch Lady to write a blog for us."

"Lunch Lady, blog my notes."

Purr purr purr purr = "Feed me in 15."

Tips from the Cats

1. Ignore everyone: People get crazy for no reason and want to make you crazy too. This applies to weather casters, relatives (especially relatives), other cats and imaginary monsters. Fatty hates the imaginary monsters that chase him every night around 7 PM. It's quite terrifying. He recommends us mortal humans to ignore our imaginary monsters too.

"Don't look at me, think of me or breathe my air."

2. Stock up in advance on dry cat food and cat litter: you don't want to be caught the days before a natural catastrophe without the necessities for nutritional entry and exit. Cats get angry without food and Bentley thinks humans do too. And what is worse than no toilet paper when you have the flu? You get the point. Stock up ahead of time.

"Don't get caught without dry food."

3. Wash your cat bed and clothes before the storm: if the power goes out you will feel cozier in a clean cat bed and pajamas than dirty ones. 

4. Prune yourself:  Take some time during the storm to brush your hair till you feel good, clip your nails and splash on some perfume. Getting cabin fever is something indoor cats never get because they keep up their good looks and standards of living. Bentley recommends to put on fresh sweat pants. Fatty recommends not looking like a Neanderthal. 

Prunes an hour a day

5. Keep your mind and body active because it will help you poop and sleep: Fatty recommends reading Shakespeare and jumping in the sun like if you are having an electrocution.

"Behold, behold where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to --" ~ Lucio in Measure for Measure

 Bentley recommends reading Thomas Paine's "The Rights of Man" and beating up the catnip carrot. 

Exercise in a carrot. 

I think their somewhat high brow reading is really an excuse to drift off to sleep. Bentely's favorite book is "Charlotte's Web", he loves Wilbur the pig. 

However, their point is to read a book or something not online and move around your house.