Kittens in Combat

Things have been suspiciously under alert this week in our house. The cats have gotten into some strange moods, especially Bentley since he is the lighter one more capable of dashing to and fro. Last week, Bentley got into his big adventure with the window when he got stuck in between the screen and the glass for a few hours. It would have passed as one of Bentley's usual curiosity missions gone bad, but it just wasn't like him to do something so stupid.

True and False about Bentley:

1. True: Sleep under the lamp, on the best pillow of the couch and in his favorite Goodwill basket that I bought for $1.

False: sleep in the basement on top of his Tupperware containing his food.

2. True: slap the feet of any human going into the shower and howl while human gets wet. "Bathing" while watching Italian soap opera "Un Posto al Sole" with the humans.

False: Avoid washing self and sitting on top of food container nervously.

3. True: Sitting on the windowsill in the evening watching the birdies fly by and snickering at them.

False: Sitting in the basement on top of his food container.

The Fat One has been up to some similarly strange behavior. True and False about El Gordo:

1. True: Attempting five times to jump on the desk. Missing each time and falling like a 10 pound meatball.

False: Leaping 6 feet up to his food container then covering it like a Sumo Wrestler.

2. True: Getting smacked in the whiskers every night as he sits on Bentley's face while we watch "Un Posto al Sole"

False: No Bentley on the couch?! Woohooooo! Taking up half of the entire couch to spread out his fluff in happy elation.

3. True: Hissing only when his feet are stepped on.

False: Hissing regularly at the window and the image of himself on the mirror. Attempting to fight the cat in the mirror.

Last night Bentley sat, took out a cigar, put on his reading glasses and propped himself up on the pillows in the study. 

He decided to do some research and dig into the mystery surrounding his sneaking suspicion that some Cat was trying to steal his food. Bentley looked up the masters in literature to seek their advice. The Cheshire Cat of Alice in Wonderland told him, "Only the insane equate pain with success." Bentley stroked his whiskers. So this means he is not to harm himself in the endeavor to save his food from harm...Next. Ginger a yellow tomcat and friend of Beatrix Potter. Mr. Ginger ran a pickle shop because mice didn't eat pickles. When Ginger thought that his food was being eaten him and his buddy Pickles (who ran the pickle business) attacked "Bite him! Pickles, bite him! He is only a German doll!" Bentley nodded, he could attack the little stuffed duck or Fatty while he slept. Then lastly Bentley read Puss in Boots where the kitten says to himself, "All I need is a pair of boots!"

This morning, Bentley sat Fatty down, laced on a pair of combat small boots, told Fatty not to be scared of pain, and to practice attacking the stuffed doll. They hid inside of a Whole Foods paper bag and waited to see who would ambush their precious food. They waited and waited and waited. One very long minute passed, then another 15 seconds. This wait was becoming too long, too boring. And before they knew it they fell into a wonderful deep sleep.

In the meantime a black cat named Gorgeous pranced around the windows of the basement. She is a tough street cat who likes to live it large in the middle of the night. She is a night warrior too and has killed off many an innocent squirrel or bird just for fun. Well, Gorgeous the cat has her eye out for the bag of Fatty and Bentley. She sits at the window of the basement eyeing down Bentley every night as he sits on his bag of food.

This mission is one that will not end at this blog. As of now, the troops are snoozing in the war zone on top of their food container.