Amish Among Us

The Energizer Bunny woke me up bright and early yesterday morning, "You want to go see the Amish?! It is a perfect day! Maybe we can find a cheap bookcase for me in one of those junky antique places. You want to see the Amish?! It is a beAUtiful day! Andiamo Amishona, andiamo a vedere le ragazze che sono moglie brave. Forza!"

And it so happened that I felt more groggy yesterday than a drunk after all night boozing. But a piece of my heart said,"That energizer bunny has taken you to the most beautiful parts of the world that he could think of! From the vineyards of Regione Veneto to the ruins of Pompeii. Take the happy man to see the Amish and buy some antique junk." So honestly feeling like a train had run over me and backed up again, I rolled out of bed and trudged off to get ready for the Amish Adventure. 

Off we set into the woods like Hansel and Gretel looking for a day of delight. Hansel, in this case, thought we go through the woods and avoid the traffic of Philadelphia. Gretel was sleepy and didn't pay attention when setting the GPS towards Amish land. And as luck would have it, Hansel and Gretel spent 2 hours sitting in traffic behind lines of eager college students packing Hwy. 95 on their way to the colleges that abound in Philly, not to mention the delicious cheese-steak subs. 

When they finally reached the woods again, something very funny started to happen to the car. 

It sang a little Pennsylvania Dutch tune that goes something like this:

This Auto ist nicht gut

An Buggy ist schön

Where ist mein horse?

And just like that, bibbity bobbity boom! The car turned into a buggy! 

What actually happened was a real pain in the ässen but let's just pretend that the car turned into a buggy, shall we? It will make that horrible moment seem much nicer. Like Cinderella who didn't know she was getting into a carriage made of squash. Then we kept going in our buggy.

So my companion for the day turned Amish. His curly hair looked perfect under his straw hat and we decided to name him Salvatore Ferragamo, a typical Amish name, of course. 

Salvatore's comments will be in blue. Salvatore and I parked our buggy by the electric post. 

We went to check out an Amish auction where they were auctioning off furniture, quilts, guns, farm equipment and more.

I wasn't sure if SalvatoreFerragamo had ever held a rifle before so this made me uneasy. 

It was my first real time being with the Amish. My family had visited Pennsylvania before and just gawked at the Amish as we passed their horses and buggies. But this time it was different. There they were, sisters standing next to me, in their black and purple identical dresses and barefoot. The little baby looked at her sister and said, "Mama." I guess it wasn't her sister after all...the Amish all around us spoke Pennslvania Dutch, their own language. It was a sort of surreal experience like being in the Renaissance Festival but this time, no one was putting on fake British accents. These clothes were real, this language is real and this way of life doesn't end when the sun goes down. 

We went to a museum called the Amish Village to learn a bit more about the Amish, where they came from and what they are all about.

Here are some things I learned:

1. Like the Mormons, they were founded by a guy with his sign in Aquarius. Go figure. 

2. They only go to church every other Sunday.

3. They don't have art in their homes because it isn't useful. So, like my mom, they have lots of calendars, sometimes as many as 5 in a room. Golden retrievers, Paris, Amish...you name it!

4. The moms: sew all the clothes, make all the food, clean the house, make preserves and

5. The women always eat LAST. ("che bello" how nice)This one really bothered me. The Amish eat in this order:

Older men

Boys

Older women

little girls

Isn't that just wrong? ("Cosi poi diventare meno grassa." You can be less fat like this. ) I am all for them eating their home grown veggies and going around risking the lives of their horses (and themselves but the horses don't have a choice) but having the baby girls eat last is really mean. 

My mom used to dip a chunk of bread in the sauce she would make and let me devour it happily while I skipped around the kitchen. In my house I am not even the one who cooks most of the time. I can't imagine being an Amish housewife. My husband on the other hand? Oh, he could definitely imagine me being an Amish housewife.

Let's go back to Salvatore Ferragamo, that Italian Amish dude. I followed him all over the Amish house. He really came dressed all Amish: dark pants and a blue shirt. The Amish use these colors:

Black on the bottom

The shirts can be:

Blue: for the sky

Green or brown: for nature

White: purity

Purple: for Lydia in the Bible who dressed in purple

Salvatore Ferragamo likes blue and he was off in the hunt of his new Amish life. 

He would need to start with a plow horse then a wife. 

One who would do all the ironing.

A wife who is an expert quilter. 

Wears her little black dress for special occasions.

Takes care of between 6-10 kids. The Amish census doubles every 16 years...

Makes the clothes for the family.("Figurati, tu, cucire i vestiti? no no..." Imagine you making my clothes?)

baby Amish outfit

Wears her bonnet over the hair she never cuts. (Nodding in understanding..."Per non far il capelli cadere quando cucinano." To not let the hair fall in the food when you cook for me)

Keeps the house spotless. ("HM! Quello e fantastico." That's fantastic)

And is also a good gardener who doesn't kill her plants.

A woman who is silent, obedient, hardworking, patient and not vain. ("Mamma mia, che bello...")

Who obediently cleans all the animals stalls, then makes the butter. "Mannaggia de la misera. Guarda con chi sono capitato."

I have to say that an Amish marriage might not be my cup of tea. I did learn a lot about their way of life but think it is too restricting in many ways: genetically (they have many sad illnesses due to the small gene pool they reproduce in.), and the women eat last. That is limiting in so many ways... Also this idea of vanity seems extreme. God made nature beautiful, to be admired, not plain. 

He also made beautiful women and I think shunning that beauty and diminishing hard-working women's strength is sad.

But overall I enjoyed the experience. 

Stone houses pepper the landscape

SalvatoreFerregamo demonstrating how he would cook his pasta in the Blacksmith shed...oh dear. I'm not sure if Amish life is for him either.

In search of an Amish education.

School = grades 1-8. No high school or college is allowed.

I especially enjoyed the jam and apple butter we bought from them.

The drive home was also magical, even though we didn't find a book case in any antique junk store.

hehe

In the end, Amish life might be great, but deciding from the limits we can set for ourselves today, I think I like my modern life. Just look at these balloons I saw driving home. Aren't they cool?