Thawing out on the Hudson

As a little girl, I always thought it would be dreamy to live in a log cabin surrounded by snow for months on end.

Little house on Duke Farms would do the trick.

I dreamt of wearing flannel shirts and cooking apple pie and enjoying playing the guitar next to a fireplace with my wild yet silent-type husband. I never dreamed that I would be living like an ice-age Neanderthal on the banks of the Hudson River (minus the silent-type), a stone's throw from NYC and in one of the most populated regions of the US. 

Surviving Winter in New Jersey. 

Side note, did you know George Washington's troops nearly all died here because it is so cold?

George praying for his troops to survive the New Jersey winter.

Now cold NY looks like this after the tough winter:

Frozen Manhattan

The Frozen Apple

The City that never thaws out

Wall Street of Ice

Fashion Capital = boots and coats

Here snow plow trucks can't even get through the streets because cars are so densely packed on either side of the road. This winter I tried my best not to complain to myself or to anyone around me about the miserably cold winter with all of the mess that came with it. My fellow Jersey brothers and sisters all complained loudly about the long crippling winter and I did my best to be cheerful and thankful for one tiny thing each day. It honestly helped. One day it was the sun, another day a good walk at the gym, another day it was a book etc. My  mom, a hopeless optimist, inspired me to try to cheer up each day where I felt miserable. Yesterday I saw two fat robins sitting by the window and thought to myself, "Spring is coming! SPRING IS COMING!!!" I ran to get the cats and show them the birds. Fatty and Bentley both were uninterested but I was thrilled. 

Birds? hm. Feed us, please and immediately.

I felt like I got a promotion in life. Yes! I got a promotion in life with the arrival of spring!!! No more freezing weather!

 So now I feel like I can share the pictures of the cold so one day when I am a granny in Florida or the Bahamas I will look back and laugh at  myself for ever living in New Jersey. "Foolish girl" I will chuckle. Only grandmas can say "foolish". So, "Fooooooolish girl, you should have settled down in Florida/Ghana/California/someplace warm that won't freeze you to death."

 However, as my mom would say, there is something to be enjoyed for the snowy weather: it is incredibly peaceful to watch fall slowly over the little houses. 

It's so idyllic to see, not to live.

Frozen little school house.

Nevertheless, there are at least 10 things wrong with so much cold and snow. Can I complain now that it is almost over? Yes, please and thank you.

10 Things That are SO Wrong with New Jersey Winters 

1. Winter (under 32 degrees F) Lasts from November - April

2. You quickly run out of things to do on "snowy days" because there are 100 snow days. Cooking "interesting" things becomes your new hobby.

Let's make green salsa and pretend we are in Mexico! Mexico! Mexico! Mexico!

Just like Abuelita would have made it.

Muy bueno.

Oink if you like Pigs in a blanket!

Flapjacks

My new favorite book

I didn't appreciate this at 12 when Santa left it under the tree. Now at 32? Its my new favorite book.

3. The ground freezes making the cement explode open which = jammed doors shut for weeks (I couldn't force my basement door open for 3 weeks), broken garage doors, huge holes in the street that destroy everyone's tires.

4. Lotion/cream: a word on cream. Your skin will split open and bleed with the severe cold and the only way to keep it from doing so is by daily applying a variety of creams: foot cream, face cream, skin cream, hand cream and lip balm. You can't buy the cute smelling stuff because it doesn't work and must buy the heavy gooey cream that feels like a whale or rhino (your pick) sneezed on you. Recommended creams:

          Feet: Gold Bond Ultra

          Face: Burt's Bees Daily Intense Hydration Face Lotion- for day. It wears well under make-up. Nivea at night

          Skin: Lubriderm Advanced Therapeutic  Lotion

          Hands: Burt's Bees Almond Milk Beewax Cream. It will heal the chappiest of hands. Put it on before going to bed.

          Lips: get a ton of natural lip balms like Burt's Bees then use Vaseline to heal if the skin opens.

5. Going out is out of the question. Even if you wanted to you physically can't because the ground is covered with ice and 20 degrees is warm enough if it weren't for the chill factor that makes it feel like -20 and there is a hypothermia warning. 

(singing to "jingle bells")
Driving through the snow, with my tires plugged with ice, praying I won't slide, and hit the front car's glass!

6. Ice: when you must walk from your car to work, the church entrance, the supermarket you do so like a penguin to avoid falling and breaking bones. If you fell you know it would take the ambulance forever to show up because they must go slow over the ice. When you feel yourself falling you go slow and slide onto your bum trying to laugh about how silly you look but feel embarrassed and angry anyway.

Walking out of the house.

Now how to cross this ice? Slowly shuffle feet? Take steps? Walk like it isn't ice? Kneel across it? Slide on your bum till you get to your car? Oh the joy of options!

The streams are frozen.

The rivers are frozen too.

7. Feeling locked in. If you move to NJ you must really LOVE your house because you will be spending lots of time in it. Love the heater (get gas fueled radiators, not forced hot air because the heat will go out at some point), love your stove, love your desk, love your laptop and best of all love your library where you can check out materials all winter long. You better love your house because living in NJ during the winter is like being under house arrest.

8. Your static hair will fall out. Yes, winter in NJ will make your hair fall out. In fact, NJ has one of the highest hair loss rates for women in the US. Partially because of the contaminated water (thanks, Manhattan) but mostly because of the winter: your hair follicles hate the  extreme cold and then they get heat from your hair drier and forced hot air then have it and fall over dead. 

9. Taking care of yourself is really challenging with the cold. Eating healthy is hard to do when you are freezing cold. Seriously at -20 F who wants a healthy smoothy, fresh cold salad or grilled chicken with steamed veggies? No one. Your fridge starts to look like the cheese section of the grocery store and veggies are used more as a decorative piece than a staple food item. However, if you are really committed you keep drinking water and join a gym.

10. Joining a gym....you do it for your health. 

Working out in the snow at -10F can only last...one pushup long.

Half the people look like they belong on the Jersey Shore or Jersey Housewives (I occasionally have the honor to work out alongside with Joe Guidice from the NJ Housewives, as a matter of fact. Teresa can't make it anymore.) But your gym clothes freeze before you get there and they come out of your gym bag in a block of ice that you melt in the sauna before putting them on. 

So that is that. I am so glad winter is ending! 40 degrees feels like Florida! It feels like I can walk on a sidewalk! Oh the joy of walking on a real sidewalk that isn't covered in ice! I might actually blog more now that my term for house arrest / hybernation will allow me to leave my  humble abode. Till then, winter, get on out of here!