Goodbye to Bentley...

December 04, 2022

Goodbye to Bentley...

I can hardly write the title of this blog without choking up with a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes. My sweet old critter went to meet his maker on Friday... He went with dignity and love and surrounded in peace. Knowing Bentley was a joy, pure unbridled joy in my cat. He was happy to be alive from the moment I laid eyes on him till he was ready die.

Guilty as charged... note to self, never get a nice couch with a cat.

I'll never forget the day I met him and Fatty in 2001. It was summertime, I was 19 and had a red and tan 1994 Ford F150 pick up truck with no air conditioning. Going and coming to work and class in the humid Maryland heat was rough that summer. I had just moved to my very first apartment, a one bedroom with a little porch and a walk in closet that I thought was big enough to be a second bedroom. I remember being in my apartment the first few days I lived there with my luggage worth of clothes, a beta fish and a coffee table I got in IKEA. The fish and the IKEA table were clearly poor company. No, I didn't have a bed yet, that came after my first paycheck. One hot summer night I lay there and realized what I needed was a cat, a good, fat grown cat to keep me company and hopefully scare off the squirrels racing around in the roof of the apartment building I lived in.

Off I went to the Anne Arundel Animal Shelter in Millersville, with very little in my bank account but feeling it was well worth a cat. The shelter was a concrete building, and still is, with few embellishments. It has a cat room, and a dog room, and both smell like pet food and bleach. I remember walking in and seeing the solemn rows of felines in cages as if in prison. Some howled, some sulked, some looked pleading for me to take them. I wanted to take all of them. I turned around to see the row on the opposite side of the room. There, on the second floor, was a fluffball with a white nose and white paws that looked very handsome. It was Bentley. He was about 8 inches long but seemed a little fat... as we looked at each other inquisitively, a little fluffy head popped up behind him: Fatty. In his fear for life itself, Fatty had the tendency to curl into his brother and hide, he continued this move most of his life when in fear... We were mesmerized with each other. But I knew my apartment wouldn't allow for two cats, so I stood there just gazing in love.

A few moments later that gaze was disrupted by a rowdy woman and her flock of children who clamored in wanting to get kittens. They stated they had 13 cats and wanted more kittens. Instinctively, I took the purchase cards for Bentley and Fatty and marched to the front desk declaring I'd purchase them. The woman and her children were not happy... I remember I had a few days to get them, while the kennel ran a background test. I remember feeling the weight of this huge purchase of $40, plus food and bowls and a litter box. I knew every last penny I had was going towards my cats and it was completely worth it. I got the smallest box of food to start, I'll never forget, and figured that I'd get more money in tips at the restaurant where I waited tables by the time I ran out of cat food. Oh, the joy of being a poor college student!

Bringing the boys home in my hot pickup truck was so sweet. I promised them on the ride home that I would keep them forever and always and till death would we part. I promised to take good care of them.

My life forever changed. First, I got a bed. Then the cats discovered the bed and that it was a wonderful place to sleep. Then, I moved up in life and got a kitchen table, another bed for the cats. Then, life got fancy and I got a couch, a scratchpad for the cats. And when life couldn't get any nicer, I got Trader Joes food for Christmas (when you're a poor college student, Trader Joes is FANCY). Those paper bags were the best thing that I could have gifted my cats. They discovered the most exhilarating game of hide and seek.

I absolutely loved having them as tiny kittens... Bentley became the "man of the house" soon after I got them. He was my protector and guardian. One day, Fatty sneezed blood. It sounded like a tiny choochoo train. Then he had a massive nosebleed, and coughed blood. He was tiny. I panicked and rushed him back to the shelter thinking the vet there should treat him for free since he was a recent "purchase". Fatty had lost a significant amount of blood, I learned and was very sick. Thankfully the vet treated him and gave me medicine to nurse him back to health at home. I remember bringing Fatty home, weak and grumpy and full of medicine, and having Bentley great us at the door. He yowled and yowled and paced around me demanding to know why I left with his brother. After that day, and while Fatty healed, Bentley became so much more aware of my rhythm and my health. He knew when I was home on time and purred, he knew when I ran late and fussed at me. He knew, even before I knew, when I was coming down with the flu or an illness and would sit on what hurt on my body.

"Come home on time. Don't make me worry!"

When I moved to Baltimore, Bentley would stay up late at night with me, at my side on the desk. As I wrote lengthy research papers for college, Bentley would stay right next to me watching my fingers type. He never left my side till I was finished. Years later, when I had a concussion, it was Bentley who woke me up from being unconscious. He patted my face with his paws and howled till I woke up and called the emergency number. I called him the "man of the house" because he was so good to me, and knew I needed someone to look out for me.

Watching "Cat TV" with ferrets... fearing for the TV, we changed the channel before Bentley pounced.

I'll never forget how on one occasion he attacked a strange neighbor who showed up to my door. My passive, purring, friendly as Barney cat flew at this man in a rage and then scampered around him hissing till he left. I later learned the man was on some "no good" criminal list. Another time I had friends over to watch a movie and one of them found out that Bentley had peed in his shoes. We never saw him again! He did me a favor, that guy laughed at his own bad jokes way too much while people just stared.

I'll never meet another cat like Bentley. He was the stuff good sheep dogs are made out of. Sometimes I was convinced he thought he was a dog and not a cat. Towards the end of his life, he would heard us towards his food bowl. I would be walking in the kitchen and he'd step infant of me, making me step to the side, then he'd do it again leading me towards the stairs and finally howl letting me know what was needed: a second breakfast please!

The beating of his heart is one of the last things I felt. The chest I had laid my head on so many times over the years asking him for advise, figuring he knew better than me. The chest my friends little kids would lay on to feel him purr. That beautiful soft velvety chest had it's little heart beating wildly on Friday. The little heart that loved life with every ounce in him. The heart that gave so much affection and cuddles to anyone he trusted. His soft fur lifted and sank, the birds sang and his ears perked up. He had been deaf for years but suddenly he heard them, he heard them calling him home to Fatty.... and his chest sank breathing out for the last time, and he was gone. With my arm wrapped around him I kissed his head and told him what a sweet boy he was.

Some people say their pets are like kids. Others say they are members of the family. And others that they are our best friends. I think our pets are a taste of heaven. God gave us everything to be truly happy: including dogs, cats, guinea pigs, birds, fish, and even iguanas. Knowing one of these sweet animals so in depth, they way I knew Bentley, is really heavenly. He was so good of heart and a genuine lover of life. He was an incredible loyal friend and the best cat anyone could have ever wished for. People who were not "cat people" walked away from Bentley suddenly saying "I don't like cats, but I like Bentley." Fatty couldn't sell them that!

My heart feels so many things, immense gratitude for having had the honor and privilege to know Fatty and Bentley as long as I did. I'm so grateful God gave them to me. They were my family for so many Thanksgivings and Christmases alone. I'll never forget Christmas 2008 where I (had a real job after college) and got (real) fancy food and Juniors cheesecake. There had been a snowstorm and I remember staying in my toasty apartment on the 8th floor in Baltimore with my two fat boys and cheesecake. No one knew how much cheesecake I ate that week.... almost like competitive eating... except Fatty and Bentley.

Fatty was extremely jealous, possessive and retaliated if he felt ignored. Had he been a boyfriend I would have no doubt gotten a restraining order at some point. Out of control, but very cute.

Playing dress up in my wedding dress with my two flower boys. They weighed as much as farm pigs, if not more.

I'll never forget George, my IT guy at work, who told me about moist cat food with CHEDDAR in it. That was 2013.... the cats thought I brought home kitty McDonalds with crack mixed in. It was delightful. They stared at me like hungry vultures once it was gone.

I hope one day I get to wrap my arms around both and tell them how awesome they are. They were my protectors and angels and forever formed who I am as I type this today. I wasn't myself without my boys. I grew into the lady I am, 21 years with them, day by day figuring out college then jobs and my personal budget and how to be an adult with Fatty and Bentley every step of the way. In a way, they were my parents, my siblings, my brothers, my kids, my best friend, and my conscience. Not to mention my alarm clock at 3 AM....I've never cursed more at a mammal for waking me up than I did at Fatty and Bentley, and they forgave me instantly...

Fatty's paw pad will forever be engrained in my heart, and Bentley's on my face, where he loved to pat me when he knew I needed him most.